She was no Queen ..

Kali, Kaylie, KCat is gone
Dead and gone and stirring up the rainbow bridge something fierce if I know her.
Wednesday night she was a little quiet - unhappy about something she sat on my lap and the computer but didn't really want to eat her extra canned food at bedtime. Thursday morning I could see something was seriously wrong- she was checking out. She was cold and accepted blankets and a hot pack for quite awhile but more seriously there was nothing I could do to tempt her to eat. Even her much favoured Pill Pockets didn't even provoke a sniff. Poached chicken, warmed baby food, ad - nothing - she simply didn't want to eat. She was happy enough to have company: dogs, cats and people. She wasn't pushy though .. and that is not like her.

She battled her cancer for well over a year - and probably longer - her indomitable spirit kept her jumping on the fridge, telling off cats, batting little fake mice around the house, insisting on her nightly cuddles long after her blood values suggested she should be unable to walk let alone play. It was a bone marrow cancer of some sort - being Kali once we had a diagnosis we didn't do much invasive stuff - she was not a fan of being handled on terms other than her own. We did a home course of chemo, and she was on pred and fortekor (she developed a heart murmur somewhere in the last year of her life) but apart from those daily meds we let her be. We did do two transfusions - one was for her in September as she so clearly wasn't ready to go and one was just before Christmas which, truth be told, was for me - losing two souls I loved dearly in the space of a week was more than I could bear. The first transfusion gave her excellent quality of life for nearly 4 months. The second did the same for three weeks. I would do both again in the same circumstances. A third transfusion simply wasn't feasible today though - Kali's body was SO WEAK it just wouldn't have been fair. I think more was going on as well - the lack of appetite was not typical at all of the last 8 months with her.
Unlike Dumont Kali was not ready to go - she fought death with every action -even trying to walk away from her carrier as I prepared it for the drive to Danforth. Dr Au, Debbie and I considered all options - it was hard for all of us to accept that the end really had come. However there wasn't much we hadn't tried to extend her quality and quantity of life and we all realized that anything we could do short term might result in suffering or pain. To imagine Kali suffering was impossible to us all.
I held her for the catheter - no other cat would have needed it if as weak as she was but she was Kali - and I was glad we had. She was very restless afterwards and took some time to settle back down. Once the euthanol hit her vein her weak body gratefully drifted away even as she puffed her breath into my face as hard as she could. What a funny, spiritual, spirited girl she was.
Impossible to imagine life without our funny tricoloured cat. She is a force to be reckoned with!

There is a poem I often find small comfort in in times like this - it could have been written for our girl

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there, I did not die!
Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am the song that will never end.

I am the love of family and friend.

I am the child who has come to rest

In the arms of the Father who knows him best.

When you see the sunset fair,

I am the scented evening air.

I am the joy of a task well done.

I am the glow of the setting sun.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there, I did not die!
~ Mary E. Frye ~

catching up

Kali looks good - she's gained weight and muscle and is in great spirits ... go figure!

Dumont has good minutes and bad minutes - he usually resists the sub q fluids but tolerates them every 3-4 days so I give them to him... he's old and lovely - if he doesn't want to be fussed with I'm trying to honour that as well as I did my grandmother's do not resuscitate order

Siam One and Two have working names - the evolution of names has been interesting with them to say the least the flame point male is BB (or Big Boy, Big Bro) or just sweetie , the tortie point is now known as Little Sis (aka Lil, Lily and sucky face)

Ocean is in a new home and LOVING it - she sleeps on the bed at night - and while I miss her very much I am so very very happy for her
it's with a staff person at the Danforth Vet Clinic so I'll hear about her lots and I trust that if there are problems she'll come back to us

I have been socializing 4 scared kittens at one of the shelters .. they are adorable - on day one three of them purred for me!

and life goes on ...

Dumont is critically ill

The hardest, the very hardest, part of loving animals is losing them. Facing losing them isn't exactly a barrel of laughs either and today - for the second time in less than a year we are faced with the possibility of losing Dumont before we are ready.

In Novemeber of last year he had a mass removed from his tummy - we thought it might be a mammary tumour but it turned out to be a tumour dogs get and cats don't (usually!). He was thin and elderly looking but post surgery rallied dramatically - gaining weight and feeling great.. he looked like a cat half his age (he's 18).

He came down to Prince Edward county for the summer and throughly enjoyed the views of birds and a new place to explore with his buddies.. he thrived...

fast forward to yesterday when I had a good look at him and realized that he was suddenly back to looking elderly ..and he was dehydrated..first available appointment you can bet we were at Dr Au's clinic ...

blood results just came in - kidney failure - HUGE dramatic kidney failure in less than six months..

our choices? do nothing, put him on agressive antibiotics and iv fluids, put him on sub q fluids and oral antibiotics

he'll hate any of them .. and so we will...

betting my dreams aren't happy tonight

Kali cat and her transfusion

Kali had a blood transfusion on Monday - her red blood cell count had dropped to truly alarming levels (6 instead of 24 or more). The miracle worker Dr Au wasn't sure how Kali was walking let alone eating, playing and behaving much as she has for the last year and a half. We had discussed the possibility of a transfusion nearly a year ago (when the blood value was 11) but she was so bright it didn't seem essential.

The transfusion was tough - finding a donor was harder then it should have been - and the amount of blood that had to come out of Kali before anything went back in was scary too. Luckily dear Sherbert ended up being a match and snoozed through having nearly 50 ml of blood drawn. Kali only got about 25 mls of blood as there were some clotting issues but even just that amount of blood seemed to make her feel better. We'll see what tomorrow holds but tonight was a good night!