Dear J...

You asked me if I could write the story of the last couple of months of losing dear friends. I'm honestly not sure. But if I don't try I'll never know. It's a very personal story so I'm giving up all pretense at writing in the third person and just telling you what happened.
Last year, in November of 2008, Tom and I had the rather horrific experience of having two much loved cats diagnosed with cancer in the space of 24 hours. One cat was 18 and elegant and settled; one was only 8 and a character filled rabble rouser. One was black and white; one was white with little splotches of colour. One male; one female. You see how it is going I'm sure - one Ying and one Yang. Tom has written about Kali - our troubled little street kitty at length - he wrote about her life not so much about her struggles over the last year.

Dumont has a pretty neat story all in his whole right. He was part of an epic - a piece of 36 years of loving individual cats for me. We adopted him the day after my first cat Rum died - I was in university and had gone to the clinic to pay the bill. The vet asked if we were looking for another pet and I said no. I was told the sad tale of this adorable four month old who had been abandoned when the owners couldn't pay for the needed surgery to remove a coin from his throat. The humane society arrived to pick him up and they were sent away. I left the clinic empty handed and when I got home Tom asked how it had gone. I told him the story of the abandoned soul and he looked behind me for a new addition.

When I realized he was serious we raced back to the clinic to pick up Dumont. Dumont lived with us for 18 years - more or less a few days - he was the picture of health - right up to a crisis last fall. He had surgery to remove a tumour on his mid line at that time - our vet was sure it would be a mammary tumour but it turned out to be another tumour - a tumour common to dogs but rather unusual in domestic short haired cats. The surgery went well and he blossomed quickly - gaining weight and going back to sleek and active until the very end of September 2008. He had a bad episode of digestive upset and when I took him to the vet the blood results showed he had critical renal failure.

We did aggressive fluid and antibiotic therapy which he responded well too then I took him home - he happily accepted occasional sub q fluids til for over a month then he started resisting. This was a cat who didn't resist anything so I felt very strongly he had put up with enough. I honoured his request and he continued to eat, purr and sleep on my head.

Eventually he crashed: he lost interest in eating and drinking. I contemplated calling for a mobile vet for euthanasia - or taking him to our much loved vet for the procedure but he seemed quite determined to lie on the bed I set up for him in the kitchen and hold court. He wasn't in pain and he derived great comfort from having his family around him. I sat (and lay) with him non stop from 10 pm on ... he would fall asleep and wake up to find one of the cats gently touching him - licking his head, laying a paw over him or his sniffing his face gently. If his head slipped off my hand he'd carefully lift his head and wait til my hand was cradling his head again. He dozed quite peacefully. It was an oddly beautiful thing. The patriarch of the house - who had greeted each and every one of the animals in the house now said goodbye to all. He took his last breaths around 1:30 am or so and his heart stopped beating a short time later. The change in energy in the room when he left was eerie. He seemed very quiet and laid back in life but he carried an enormous life force.

Kali was very interested in his death. She sat right with us and watched quietly often curled up beside Dumont or on me. She battled her cancer for well over a year - and probably longer - her indomitable spirit kept her jumping on the fridge, telling off cats, batting little fake mice around the house, insisting on her nightly cuddles long after her blood values suggested she should be unable to walk let alone play. It was a bone marrow cancer of some sort - being Kali once we had a diagnosis we didn't do too much invasive stuff - she was not a fan of being handled on terms other than her own. We did a home course of chemo, and she was on two medications but apart from those daily medications we let her be. We did do two transfusions - one was for her in September as she so clearly wasn't ready to go and one was just before Christmas which, truth be told, was for me - losing two souls I loved dearly in far too short a time was more than I could bear. The first transfusion gave her excellent quality of life for nearly 4 months. The second did the same for three weeks. I would do both again in the same circumstances. A third transfusion simply wasn't feasible; she was far too weak and the time the tranfusion worked for was radically shorter the second time around.

Unlike Dumont, Kali was not mentally ready to go - she fought death with every action -even trying to walk away from her carrier as I prepared it for the drive to the vets. She had refused to eat for a day and was visibly weakening, she had done very deliberate rounds and the dogs had been particularly gentle and attentive with her. Her spirit was strong but her body was letting her down. Waiting would have been cruel as she was obviously confused and a little frightened by what her body was going through. The fabulous vet and her amazing tech and I considered all options - it was hard for all of us to accept that the end really had come. However there wasn't much we hadn't tried to extend her quality and quantity of life and we all realized that anything we could do short term might result in suffering or pain. To imagine Kali suffering was impossible. She lay peacefully in my arms for her final injection. Once the euthanol hit her vein her weak body gratefully drifted away even as she puffed her breath into my face as hard as she could. What a funny, spiritual, spirited girl she was.

They were amazing friends to us and a very special part of our family. We will miss them enormously. They have left holes that no one will be able to fill. (Why oh why do we keep loving them when losing them is inevitable?)I told Dumont to take care of all our friends (yours and mine) who await us at the bridge - and I can assure you that no matter the species he'll do his thing - in his gentle loving way. I asked Kali not to cause too much trouble and entertain everybody who is so patiently waiting. Patience is not in her vocabulary! The rainbow bridge is a better place now that they are there even as it is impossible to imagine life here without them.

Anyhow, thanks for asking for the whole story. I tell it not to be self absorbed nor to seek pity but to share the tale of two very different, much loved cats and how they continued to teach me even in death.
All my best,

Andrea

The King is Dead: Long Live the King

Dumont was a people cat, he was a dog cat, a cat cat and just an all round patriarchial kind of soul; heck everybody who met him loved him. He was ever the gentlemen - greeting all who came to our house with an inquisitive sniff and quite often a lick and a cuddle. He was glossy and beautiful - black with a lovely even, perfect tuxedo of white marking his legs and face. He was playful and compassionate - chasing toys and entertaining the animal baby fosters in the house for hours or simply lying with an older or sick soul, no matter the species. Patient to a fault he taught many a small child how to interact politely with a pet and why it's important to pat in the direction of the hair. He loved going to our friends houses for visits and would make himself quite at home anywhere. He taught dogs, cats and even large parrots our house rules and he will be sadly missed. He liked to be held, enjoy sitting on laps but was content to sit beside you or along the back of the couch too. He was part of an epic - a piece of 36 years of loving individual cats for me.

We adopted him the day after my first cat Rum died - I was in university and had gone to the clinic to pay the bill. The vet asked if we were looking for another pet and I said no. I was told the sad tale of this adorable four month old who had been abandoned when the owners couldn't pay for the needed surgery to remove a foreign object from his throat (time has faded the memory or the object - it was either a coin or a bone). The humane society arrived to pick him up and they were sent away. I left the clinic empty handed and when I got home my new hubby asked how it had gone. (He had never lived with any animal apart from his brothers before meeting me!) I told him the story of the abandoned soul and he looked behind me for a new addition. When I realized he was serious we raced back to the clinic to pick up Dumont.

(The original Dumont was Gabriel Dumont- Louis Riel's right hand in the Rebellions - we figured our Dumont had to have a bit of rebel in him to have ended up on our doorstep)

Dumont lived with us for 18 years - more or less a few days - he was the picture of health - right up to a little crisis last fall. He had surgery to remove a tumour on his midline at that time - our vet was sure it would be a mammary tumour but it turned out to be another tumour - a tumour common to dogs but rather unusual in domestic short haired cats. The surgery went well and he blossomed quickly - gaining weight and going back to sleek and active until about a month ago.

He had a bad episode of digestive upset and when I took him to the vet the blood results showed he had critical renal failure. We did aggressive fluid and antibiotic therapy which he responded well too then I took him home with fluids - he happily accepted occasional sub q fluids til last week then he started resisting. This was a cat who didn't resist anything so I felt very strongly he wanted the fluids to stop. It nearly killed me but I honoured his request and he continued to eat, purr and sleep on my head until Thursday.

I contemplated calling for a mobile vet for euthanasia - or taking him to our much loved vet for the procedure but he seemed quite determined to lie on the bed I set up for him in the kitchen and hold court. He wasn't in pain and he derived great comfort from having his family around him. I have some Valium and pain meds on hand but didn't need to give him any of either. I sat (and lay) with him non stop from 10 pm on ... he would fall asleep and wake up to find one of the cats gently touching him - licking his head, laying a paw over him or his sniffing his face gently. If his head slipped off me as soon as he awoke he'd carefully lift his head and wait til my hand was cradling his head again. It was quite a beautiful thing. The patriarch of the house - who had greeted each and every one of the animals present there now said goodbye to all but the bunny and the birds. He took his last breaths around 1:30 or so and his heart stopped beating a short time later. The change in energy in the room when he left was eerie.

He was an amazing friend and a very special part of our family. We will miss him enormously. He has left a hole that no one will be able to fill. (Why oh why do we keep loving them when losing them is inevitable?)
I told him to take care of all our friends (yours and mine) who await us at the bridge - and I can assure you that no matter the species he'll do his thing - in his gentle loving way - the rainbow bridge is a better place tonight.

catching up

Kali looks good - she's gained weight and muscle and is in great spirits ... go figure!

Dumont has good minutes and bad minutes - he usually resists the sub q fluids but tolerates them every 3-4 days so I give them to him... he's old and lovely - if he doesn't want to be fussed with I'm trying to honour that as well as I did my grandmother's do not resuscitate order

Siam One and Two have working names - the evolution of names has been interesting with them to say the least the flame point male is BB (or Big Boy, Big Bro) or just sweetie , the tortie point is now known as Little Sis (aka Lil, Lily and sucky face)

Ocean is in a new home and LOVING it - she sleeps on the bed at night - and while I miss her very much I am so very very happy for her
it's with a staff person at the Danforth Vet Clinic so I'll hear about her lots and I trust that if there are problems she'll come back to us

I have been socializing 4 scared kittens at one of the shelters .. they are adorable - on day one three of them purred for me!

and life goes on ...

and the beat goes on...

Kali is on my lap

Dumont is sound asleep under my chair

and both are hanging in there - purring and eating and being as entertaining as usual

the worry in my heart sits heavy at times but they are content so I'll have to be as well

Siam One and Two are getting a little braver too - Tom is working on naming them and he's chatting to them lots

the himi's crack me up ... Ocean had a lead on a home but that's fallen through .. and Coco is Coco - they make me laugh everyday

and the beat goes on and on ...

Dumont is critically ill

The hardest, the very hardest, part of loving animals is losing them. Facing losing them isn't exactly a barrel of laughs either and today - for the second time in less than a year we are faced with the possibility of losing Dumont before we are ready.

In Novemeber of last year he had a mass removed from his tummy - we thought it might be a mammary tumour but it turned out to be a tumour dogs get and cats don't (usually!). He was thin and elderly looking but post surgery rallied dramatically - gaining weight and feeling great.. he looked like a cat half his age (he's 18).

He came down to Prince Edward county for the summer and throughly enjoyed the views of birds and a new place to explore with his buddies.. he thrived...

fast forward to yesterday when I had a good look at him and realized that he was suddenly back to looking elderly ..and he was dehydrated..first available appointment you can bet we were at Dr Au's clinic ...

blood results just came in - kidney failure - HUGE dramatic kidney failure in less than six months..

our choices? do nothing, put him on agressive antibiotics and iv fluids, put him on sub q fluids and oral antibiotics

he'll hate any of them .. and so we will...

betting my dreams aren't happy tonight

what do cats bring to me?

what an interesting question from Liisa

cats give a great deal to relationships and have taught me so much ...

specific cats have taught or brought me unique things

from Dumont I learned that cats can give you a little piece of their heart when there is a hole that needs to be filled..

Jinx and her kittens brought us laughter - gales of laughter

Elsa taught us that it is possible to give and give and then give a little more